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I didn't feel I could talk to mom about some of the things I did, was doing or was about to do .That train was so slow. It stopped everywhere on the way up the central valley. I was looking out at the fields and mountains in the distance and thinking about Big Al, Judy, Miguel, some of the sex things I had done.We finally got to the station in Emeryville in the afternoon. I wanted to go right to Berkeley, to the old" Pueblo" station on University Avenue, where I could walk to her house, but now it was closed. My aunt had a Crosely wagon, a very early and strange compact car, made for a few years in thte late 1940's. I expected her to meet me at the station, but the train pulled away and I found myself standing on the platform, Forty minutes went by, I had lost her phone number. I walked around the old station soaking up all the sadness in each dust mote that floated by under the huge overhead frosted window. Being inside waiting for something to happen wasn't working, and sad and. "Victoria took the lead. "Tell us what happened that day. We only saw part. How come you and mom were... doing it?" You guys really have to promise not to ever repeat this." They both nodded. It can be a terrible thing for a child to find out their parents are people too with all the frailties of being human. But it is part of becoming an adult. I guess they already partially knew that from what they had seen. I tried to think of a way of explaining so they would understand. "You know that your folks were having a tough time."Rachel said, "Yeah. They were like, fighting all the time." Your mom was feeling vulnerable and unloved and lonely. She started to cry and I tried to comfort her. And one thing led to another."Victoria looked askance. "That doesn't explain why she was giving you a bj."I looked heavenward but there were no signs that Saint whoever was going to intervene to end my inquisition. Who is the Saint of inquisitions so I can pray to him next time? "When she was crying she.
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